Just a quick thanks to my readers as I post my 100th blog. God bless you all.
I am going on stage at Absolute Comedy in three hours. I am just fucking stoked.
I have my bit ready. I timed out to three minutes without breaking. So I should have a really solid 4 minutes with a few pauses and laugh breaks (that's where my natural comedic timing kicks in.. thanks god). We can do up to 5 minutes, but it is a HUGE no-no to go over. Even 30 seconds over is unacceptable if you're doing only 5 minutes. Ted (my instructor) said comics get banned from places for going over. So I want to make a good impression, so I don't even want to flirt with the 5 minute mark, and have to rush my last few jokes.
Better be safe then sorry.
Anyways, I'll post a blog either later today or tomorrow to let you know how it went.
I feel great :)
Thanks again everyone, have a great day. Wish me luck. Break a leg. (what the hell does that even mean anyways, thats another stupid saying i'll have to make fun of one day)
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Saturday, December 5, 2009
two birds with one stone
Hey guys.
A few notes. I guess by reading the previous blog you learned that I am a dish washer at the Drake Hotel. I'm not sure if I mentioned the dishwasher part before. It kinda sucks, but hopefully within a few months I will be promoted to front of house. Both the Chef and front of house Manager know that's what I want to do. So for now I just have to do the dirty work.
If all goes well I will start bar backing soon enough. I'd say it's an easier job, and I'll be making tips. How much can a bar back possibly make in tips you ask? Well, last Thursday and Friday Grant said made over 400 bucks combined! 200 bucks a shift! Now granted it's the busy season now with Christmas parties and all, but for christ sakes even if tips averaged between 50-100 on the weekends I'd be laughing.
The hours are pretty crazy. I was talking to the pastry chef yesterday, he said he was very tired and I asked me why. He said had been working since 5 am... and it was 9pm.... yes folks, that 16 hours straight. The three dudes cooking tonight worked over 12 hours each... and for 8 of them it was a fucking gong show. I don't know how they do it. I'm pooped after girlie 10 hours.
So, I'm sure you've all heard the saying "kill two birds with one stone"... my question is... has anybody ACTUALLY killed two birds with ONE stone. That seems pretty far fetched to me. And why are we killing the birds? Those chirpy bastards are harmless. Two birds with one stone.... pffft.. I like to say A-Rod try and do that one day. Are the birds flying? This all seems a little too much.
speaking of too much, my emotions are running high already for my return trip to Victoria for Christmas. My journey here has been challenging on many levels. The one thing that keeps me going is you. You who are reading this right now. So don't be surprised if you see me shed a few tears on my return trip :) (gaaayy)
OH yeah, remember that Santa Gig I told you about? Well it's not happening I'm sorry to say. At first it was looking like I could do both jobs (the drake and santa) but the santa gigs time slots changed, completely over lapping my Drake and Second City schedule. Oh well. Maybe next year.
Anyways, I gotta run. Not really. I don't really have to 'run'. that's another stupid saying. Run? you gotta run? fuck off. you just want to go, be honest.
Love.
A few notes. I guess by reading the previous blog you learned that I am a dish washer at the Drake Hotel. I'm not sure if I mentioned the dishwasher part before. It kinda sucks, but hopefully within a few months I will be promoted to front of house. Both the Chef and front of house Manager know that's what I want to do. So for now I just have to do the dirty work.
If all goes well I will start bar backing soon enough. I'd say it's an easier job, and I'll be making tips. How much can a bar back possibly make in tips you ask? Well, last Thursday and Friday Grant said made over 400 bucks combined! 200 bucks a shift! Now granted it's the busy season now with Christmas parties and all, but for christ sakes even if tips averaged between 50-100 on the weekends I'd be laughing.
The hours are pretty crazy. I was talking to the pastry chef yesterday, he said he was very tired and I asked me why. He said had been working since 5 am... and it was 9pm.... yes folks, that 16 hours straight. The three dudes cooking tonight worked over 12 hours each... and for 8 of them it was a fucking gong show. I don't know how they do it. I'm pooped after girlie 10 hours.
So, I'm sure you've all heard the saying "kill two birds with one stone"... my question is... has anybody ACTUALLY killed two birds with ONE stone. That seems pretty far fetched to me. And why are we killing the birds? Those chirpy bastards are harmless. Two birds with one stone.... pffft.. I like to say A-Rod try and do that one day. Are the birds flying? This all seems a little too much.
speaking of too much, my emotions are running high already for my return trip to Victoria for Christmas. My journey here has been challenging on many levels. The one thing that keeps me going is you. You who are reading this right now. So don't be surprised if you see me shed a few tears on my return trip :) (gaaayy)
OH yeah, remember that Santa Gig I told you about? Well it's not happening I'm sorry to say. At first it was looking like I could do both jobs (the drake and santa) but the santa gigs time slots changed, completely over lapping my Drake and Second City schedule. Oh well. Maybe next year.
Anyways, I gotta run. Not really. I don't really have to 'run'. that's another stupid saying. Run? you gotta run? fuck off. you just want to go, be honest.
Love.
Friday, December 4, 2009
If God had intended us not to masturbate he would've made our arms shorter
How are ya?
Had a late night at work and I can't sleep.
Three days more until my Stand up. I still don't have everything memorized, but that's okay. I am going to improvise some, and even if I do have everything 100% down, god knows I'll forget something!
I cant wait to get home.
I cant wait to get out of this shitty apartment. I honestly think my life will improve 50% when I get another place to live. Here is the latest on that
My friend Matt has had some big auditions but so far not landed anything. So for now it looks unlikely that I'll be moving in with RJ and Grant anytime soon. My buddy Graham is also looking for a place, but he said he needs to give two months notice at his current place. So even if he did that, we wouldn't get a place until February.
So for now I stay put.
We'll see how much longer I can tough it out. Oh, the roof in my bathroom now leaks pretty badly when it rains, so now when I take a shit, I can have a shower at the same time.. Touching.
I have been listening to "Save me" and written Cliff and Eric's band in Vancouver. What an amazing song it is. If I could post it here I would. If anyone has not heard it, email me and I'll send you a copy (with the permission of Cliff and Eric of course :p)
I told a friend this today, but I thought I'd post it here as well. When it comes to my stand up comedy, I want to be a mix of Chris Farley, John Candy, George Carlin, Artie Lange and Mitch Hedberg.
Still no snow here yet. Well, it did snow one night a little bit, but only for an hour and it didn't stick. I have a feeling its going to start soon and not stop. Even still, I only have 13 more days until I come home for Christmas, so how bad can it get by then?
.....
Im still watching lots of Carlin. I spent another hour today along with about an hour or so on Artie Lange. That NY Gaints clip I posted of Artie still gets me.
I mentioned last blog that I had some new and interesting thoughts and feelings after watching Carlin. I listened to his political and religious views and beliefs. How he have given up on America. He says 'When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat.'
I don't know really how to say this, but like Carlin, I don't think I really fit into the standard society. I am different. I think in a different way. I learn in a different way. I act in a different way. I feel that as I get older I am beginning to understand this. I am off the beaten path. I am odd. I am convinced that I have some sort of learning disability or something along those lines. Even in my stand up comedy class, when we are doing certain exercises, I just don't understand certain things until AFTER we do them. Its like I need 10 times more explanation then the regular person. I feel dumb or retarded, but that's not it. Something about the classroom mentality just doesn't agree with me. In high school I just didn't give a shit. Improv I cared, acting I cared. Math. I don't give a shit. Science. I don't give a shit.
My life to this point, I have only done what I wanted to do. I have followed the areas in my life, in which interest me. It has brought me to this point. And for that I could not be luckier. I just want to do something I love. I want to do it well. And I want to get recognized for it. The last if very important. Even it's as simple as a boss at work saying 'I saw that report you did, it was wonderful, good job' Someone has to say it. I have to be recognized for it. I don't need awards or fame. I just need a few people love me along the way. That is my definition of happiness or success.
Sorry if I'm not making sense. I don't know how else to explain it. All I know is that something in me is changing, something great.
Had a late night at work and I can't sleep.
Three days more until my Stand up. I still don't have everything memorized, but that's okay. I am going to improvise some, and even if I do have everything 100% down, god knows I'll forget something!
I cant wait to get home.
I cant wait to get out of this shitty apartment. I honestly think my life will improve 50% when I get another place to live. Here is the latest on that
My friend Matt has had some big auditions but so far not landed anything. So for now it looks unlikely that I'll be moving in with RJ and Grant anytime soon. My buddy Graham is also looking for a place, but he said he needs to give two months notice at his current place. So even if he did that, we wouldn't get a place until February.
So for now I stay put.
We'll see how much longer I can tough it out. Oh, the roof in my bathroom now leaks pretty badly when it rains, so now when I take a shit, I can have a shower at the same time.. Touching.
I have been listening to "Save me" and written Cliff and Eric's band in Vancouver. What an amazing song it is. If I could post it here I would. If anyone has not heard it, email me and I'll send you a copy (with the permission of Cliff and Eric of course :p)
I told a friend this today, but I thought I'd post it here as well. When it comes to my stand up comedy, I want to be a mix of Chris Farley, John Candy, George Carlin, Artie Lange and Mitch Hedberg.
Still no snow here yet. Well, it did snow one night a little bit, but only for an hour and it didn't stick. I have a feeling its going to start soon and not stop. Even still, I only have 13 more days until I come home for Christmas, so how bad can it get by then?
.....
Im still watching lots of Carlin. I spent another hour today along with about an hour or so on Artie Lange. That NY Gaints clip I posted of Artie still gets me.
I mentioned last blog that I had some new and interesting thoughts and feelings after watching Carlin. I listened to his political and religious views and beliefs. How he have given up on America. He says 'When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat.'
I don't know really how to say this, but like Carlin, I don't think I really fit into the standard society. I am different. I think in a different way. I learn in a different way. I act in a different way. I feel that as I get older I am beginning to understand this. I am off the beaten path. I am odd. I am convinced that I have some sort of learning disability or something along those lines. Even in my stand up comedy class, when we are doing certain exercises, I just don't understand certain things until AFTER we do them. Its like I need 10 times more explanation then the regular person. I feel dumb or retarded, but that's not it. Something about the classroom mentality just doesn't agree with me. In high school I just didn't give a shit. Improv I cared, acting I cared. Math. I don't give a shit. Science. I don't give a shit.
My life to this point, I have only done what I wanted to do. I have followed the areas in my life, in which interest me. It has brought me to this point. And for that I could not be luckier. I just want to do something I love. I want to do it well. And I want to get recognized for it. The last if very important. Even it's as simple as a boss at work saying 'I saw that report you did, it was wonderful, good job' Someone has to say it. I have to be recognized for it. I don't need awards or fame. I just need a few people love me along the way. That is my definition of happiness or success.
Sorry if I'm not making sense. I don't know how else to explain it. All I know is that something in me is changing, something great.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Happy December!
Hello my friends!
How are you? Whats new? Feel free to write an email to Bradmacdoogs@yahoo.com to say hello, or leave a comment below!
Ok, so we go!
I am working 4 days a week at the Drake Hotel. Its super close and a great place to work. Once I get more comfortable with everyone, I think I'll really enjoy myself. Almost all the staff are great people, obviously there is a prick in every group, so fuck em.
It seems a lot of the staff at the Drake are alike.
1) Really really nice.
2) An Actor or Musician
3) Really really hot. I swear to god the most beautiful women the entire world works at the Drake. She introduced her self to me and I almost shit my pants. She asked my name, and I nervously and awkwardly replied 'Brad, with a B!' What a retard. Really? Brad with a B? What am I 8? Jesus Christ. But seriously, just epic hot. I was speechless for like 5 hours. If she was walking down the road, while I was driving down the opposite road, I would without a doubt in my mind, crash my car into on coming traffic.
Speaking of car wrecks, I am making my Stand up Comedy debut in 4 days. Wow.
Until yesterday, I was totally lost with my routine. I was so confused on which way I want to do it, and which jokes I wanted to use, and how I used them.
I showed up to class on Tuesday and I was fuckin done. I had nothing new. I was lost.
But while I was in class, and one of the other comics was on stage, I thought of a joke. I thought it was pretty funny, so I wrote it down. I will tell you that joke in a sec. Then while writing that joke down on my paper, I got with another one, this time even better! So I jotted them down, and I went on super stoked to try them out. So, I get up on stage, under the bright lights, just like its going to be at Absolute Comedy on December the 6th. When you are up on stage, you can't see anyone but the first two rows. Its kind of off putting. Anyways, I walked up on stage, grabbed the mic and started out with my old stuff, with a few lines added in. I talk about my shitty apartment and how shitty Parkdale is. I feel good, and am doing well. Time to test the new stuff. This is the first joke that went over really well, I followed with the goldmine that I will save for in person. But here is the first one anyways.
My friend asked me to come over and watch Lost. I said Fuck that, if I wanted to watch a bunch of retards run aimlessly, I'd go watch the Toronto Maple Leafs play hockey.
Haha, so it's not that good, but it's a start. I can replace Lost with any TV show, and I am probably switching it to Kate+8 for my show, for obvious reasons.
Anyways, that joke got everyone laughing, which is always good. So I have that and my secret really funny joke that I am going to end with. I feel pretty good about my set now. It ran about 4 minutes, but that was with a 30 second laugh break. We have a total of 5 minutes or less, but I am not worried about length, I just want good laughs the whole way through. So 4 minutes is perfect. The only problem is that I am trying to memorize everything obviously, and time it out as well now that I added a few more one liners. But I keep reading through the whole bit in 2:45 seconds. That's without a lot of pauses or laugh breaks. Fuck me, I hope I get laughs other wise I'll be short and sweet. Just like my penis.
Sorry.
I am getting a DVD copy of my set. So long as I don't shit the bed, I may post it on YouTube. However, if things go really well, I am thinking of performing it live in Victoria when I come home, rather then putting up on YouTube right away and spoiling it.
Not sure about that one, but I think it's a good idea, only problem is there arent a lot of comedy clubs in Victoria, and I don't know of any amateur nights.
Ideas?
Not much to report other then that. Not yet anyways... There are some small rumblings happening in my train of thought. Something different. Something new. Maybe I am beginning to think in a new way, I'm not really sure how else to explain it. I blame George Carlin. That crazy dead asshole has inspired me. I will be honest in saying until a month ago, I really didn't understand who George Carlin was. I had seen some of his Stand up on HBO, listened to a CD, and had watched him on a few late night comedy programs. I thought he was really funny, but I didn't really get it. The last three weeks have been filled with hours and hours (I guess between 25-30 hours at least) of nothing but Carlin. I'm talking The Indian Sergeant and "hippie-dippie weatherman" to a 4 hour interview about his life story, to his last HBO Special in 2008 called It's Bad for Ya.
George spoke to me. I think he has made me a better Comedian and a better person. So for that, I say thank you George Carlin.
I am truly blessed to be growing up in time with computers and internet, where a man such as myself can spend countless hours and hours watching, studying, learning from his heroes, idols and inspirations. All at the click of a button.
How are you? Whats new? Feel free to write an email to Bradmacdoogs@yahoo.com to say hello, or leave a comment below!
Ok, so we go!
I am working 4 days a week at the Drake Hotel. Its super close and a great place to work. Once I get more comfortable with everyone, I think I'll really enjoy myself. Almost all the staff are great people, obviously there is a prick in every group, so fuck em.
It seems a lot of the staff at the Drake are alike.
1) Really really nice.
2) An Actor or Musician
3) Really really hot. I swear to god the most beautiful women the entire world works at the Drake. She introduced her self to me and I almost shit my pants. She asked my name, and I nervously and awkwardly replied 'Brad, with a B!' What a retard. Really? Brad with a B? What am I 8? Jesus Christ. But seriously, just epic hot. I was speechless for like 5 hours. If she was walking down the road, while I was driving down the opposite road, I would without a doubt in my mind, crash my car into on coming traffic.
Speaking of car wrecks, I am making my Stand up Comedy debut in 4 days. Wow.
Until yesterday, I was totally lost with my routine. I was so confused on which way I want to do it, and which jokes I wanted to use, and how I used them.
I showed up to class on Tuesday and I was fuckin done. I had nothing new. I was lost.
But while I was in class, and one of the other comics was on stage, I thought of a joke. I thought it was pretty funny, so I wrote it down. I will tell you that joke in a sec. Then while writing that joke down on my paper, I got with another one, this time even better! So I jotted them down, and I went on super stoked to try them out. So, I get up on stage, under the bright lights, just like its going to be at Absolute Comedy on December the 6th. When you are up on stage, you can't see anyone but the first two rows. Its kind of off putting. Anyways, I walked up on stage, grabbed the mic and started out with my old stuff, with a few lines added in. I talk about my shitty apartment and how shitty Parkdale is. I feel good, and am doing well. Time to test the new stuff. This is the first joke that went over really well, I followed with the goldmine that I will save for in person. But here is the first one anyways.
My friend asked me to come over and watch Lost. I said Fuck that, if I wanted to watch a bunch of retards run aimlessly, I'd go watch the Toronto Maple Leafs play hockey.
Haha, so it's not that good, but it's a start. I can replace Lost with any TV show, and I am probably switching it to Kate+8 for my show, for obvious reasons.
Anyways, that joke got everyone laughing, which is always good. So I have that and my secret really funny joke that I am going to end with. I feel pretty good about my set now. It ran about 4 minutes, but that was with a 30 second laugh break. We have a total of 5 minutes or less, but I am not worried about length, I just want good laughs the whole way through. So 4 minutes is perfect. The only problem is that I am trying to memorize everything obviously, and time it out as well now that I added a few more one liners. But I keep reading through the whole bit in 2:45 seconds. That's without a lot of pauses or laugh breaks. Fuck me, I hope I get laughs other wise I'll be short and sweet. Just like my penis.
Sorry.
I am getting a DVD copy of my set. So long as I don't shit the bed, I may post it on YouTube. However, if things go really well, I am thinking of performing it live in Victoria when I come home, rather then putting up on YouTube right away and spoiling it.
Not sure about that one, but I think it's a good idea, only problem is there arent a lot of comedy clubs in Victoria, and I don't know of any amateur nights.
Ideas?
Not much to report other then that. Not yet anyways... There are some small rumblings happening in my train of thought. Something different. Something new. Maybe I am beginning to think in a new way, I'm not really sure how else to explain it. I blame George Carlin. That crazy dead asshole has inspired me. I will be honest in saying until a month ago, I really didn't understand who George Carlin was. I had seen some of his Stand up on HBO, listened to a CD, and had watched him on a few late night comedy programs. I thought he was really funny, but I didn't really get it. The last three weeks have been filled with hours and hours (I guess between 25-30 hours at least) of nothing but Carlin. I'm talking The Indian Sergeant and "hippie-dippie weatherman" to a 4 hour interview about his life story, to his last HBO Special in 2008 called It's Bad for Ya.
George spoke to me. I think he has made me a better Comedian and a better person. So for that, I say thank you George Carlin.
I am truly blessed to be growing up in time with computers and internet, where a man such as myself can spend countless hours and hours watching, studying, learning from his heroes, idols and inspirations. All at the click of a button.
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