Hey
Its 3 days to my birthday. 26 was interesting to say the least.
27 is a nice number. I like 27. Not as much as 29, but that's still two years away. Other than 29, the only two numbers I like more are 3 and 93.
3 was a great year. Talking and walking and eating and shitting. I was great at the last two.
I don't know if I will get to 93... and if I do I don't know that I will appreciate it as much as I would today. By the time 93 comes around I will have forgotten why I even liked the number in the first place! Plus it might not even be my favorite number anymore.. Maybe in the future.. we won't even have numbers.... :)
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HONESTY HOUR (less funny more serious)
I am still lost, worried, confused and concerned with my life. I am still sad, alone, scared and anxious. Maybe these feelings will pass one day.
I find I don't have the ability to be truthful about my feelings sometimes. I'd rather say I'm fine then say I hurt. I wonder way that is.
Don't worry about me.
I'll be fine.
No no, I'm good.
Why do I push away when people are reaching out? What am I afraid of?
Lets find out.
I am afraid over inflated balloons.
I am afraid of spiders and odd larger insects.
I am afraid someone I love may die and I may never see them again.
I am afraid of taking my shirt off in front of other people.
I am afraid I will never reach my goals.
I am afraid of getting hurt.
I am afraid I will fail.
I am afraid I am wasting my time.
Hows that for an honest list. People will think I'm crazy... but I really don't care because I am not writing it for those who will make fun of me, or judge me for my insecurities. I write this for me and the people who love me.
more to come.
in the mean time watch the video below like 200 times... its good for you! :)
