radiohead, refeer, and my quest for gold

Yo Yo Yo.

I regret to from everyone, including myself, that I will not be attending the Radiohead show tomorrow (August 18th, 2008). Yes I know... I am also deeply troubled by the whole thing, however life must continue, and that it will.

Not much new in the last few days. I am still without a job. The running tally of days being jobless have reached over 60. I am starting to feel like a bum. I hope that I can just gently glide into retirement. Lack of RRSP's and money in my savings account might argue with me on this one, buuutt I'm not going down with out a fight. Live free or DIE!!! Well.. I don't really mean that. I'll probably end up getting a job.


Umm.. what else. Maybe, JUST maybe I'll make enough money playing poker that I won't have to get a real job. That is a long shot, but hey, I've been running hot the last couple of weeks, and have been making more money playing cards then i would with a "working" job. I'll probably lose all my money and be broke by the end of the week.

Now, it is time for the question of the WEEK! Ok, this has been asked to multiple people, and I have had some interesting results so far. So, without any further delay here it is. Please be seated.

In which sport or event do you think I would have the best chance of winning a gold medal in, at the NEXT (four years) Summer Olympic games? Now first off, some clarification. I would not work for four years and focus on training. Daily workout and cardio along with training involving the specific event. All that being said, I am afraid of water, so swimming and diving are out. I have a strong frame, but only 6 feet tall. Remember, I would have 4 years to train and practice EVERY day. So... what would it be?

I will post the top answers I've received in the next blog. Happy trails!

Beautiful Blue Beaded Prom Dress- Size 4

Ahh yes, I can remember my prom like it was six years ago. High end limousines, cheap rum and the possibility of getting and erection during that special slow dance. Oh yes, I remember it well. It's funny now looking back, thinking that I had the world at my finger tips. I did really, but that was indeed the last time I played with a globe. Time has come and gone. Boys have became men, women have become mothers. Degree's and diploma's fill the mantel. Memories and medicine fill the day. Ahh yes, I remember now. How fun it all was.

Early twenties are supposed to be the best years. But I find that the best of anything cannot be forced. 'This is going to be the best sandwich ever! Hmm.. but I'm out of mustard...'. It is hard to look into a mirror and tell yourself that 'this is going to be the best day of my life.' Who really knows if its going to be the best day of your life? I think what makes that best day of your life is not knowing that its going to happen. So the next time someone tells you that life is great until you reach 30, or any ago for that matter, punch them in the face and say "Yeah, you're right"

Who needs these boundaries implemented by others. Who is to say I cannot do this, or shouldn't do that. I'm going to smoke. I'm getting that tattoo. I'll fucking play until I decide to quit.

Ahh yes, the rebel. The human desire to say fuck the free world. Fun to think, hard to follow. I think we need a little bit of both in our day to day life. We need come structure and order for sure. But once in a while, the little man (or women) in your head says fuck it. The best of both worlds.

The standard. The Norm. The okay.

Hello.

A little different tone for this one. But it is good to be different once in a while. It is good to be wrong once in a while.

I find myself waiting. For what I do not know. Every time the phone rings, or I wake up in the morning, I seem to dream briefly. Dream of a different answer, a different truth. One that I can only hope is indeed real. The what if.

It is something that everyone does, admitted or not. Thinking, dreaming, call it what you will. I often find myself sitting motionless, my eyes fixed on absolute nothing. I wonder. I cannot stop. I wonder.

Endless scenarios of current affairs in my life are what it is all about. What would be better, what could be worse. How can I change, or keep the same.

Love. The empty and the full. How one person can effect so much of your day to day life. How is this possible? Why do I find myself more concerned with other people rather then myself? That must be a flaw, because how can I make someone more important then me? It seems to go against everything we live and strive for. Surly there are circumstances in which you must be concerned or worried about someone. However why and how does it go beyond that? Is it logical to lie to yourself to please others? Or even worse, to try and please others knowing that it is not a guarantee that it will work, or that you are doing the right thing. Hurting yourself for the unknown.

At which point do I draw the line. How far must I go before I snap back from the dream and into the real. At which point do I just accept the good and not drag it out looking for imperfections? How long before I accept the good?

I ponder ones actions in time of despair. The course of actions that follow seem to make so much sense at a given point and time, but when looked back upon are often viewed as immature. It does seem that I often rush to fix a problem or concern without really taking the time to see or understand the truth behind it. Sweeping it under the rug works for a day or two, but that is really not the way. Maybe I am just lazy, or scared. Maybe I do know what is needed to be done, but refuse to do so out of self doubt. Maybe.

Everything happens for a reason.
It will all work itself out.
I can't worry about that now.
I'm sure it'll be fine.

The standard. The Norm. The okay.

Fuck all that.

I want to know where you are. I want to see the truth. I want to feel. I want to make sure.

But who am I to change the way I think or what actions I take. After all, where does my dream end and real life begin? After so many dreams, and so many thoughts, they all blend together now. I'm sure it will all work its self out...

Pardon the sad, more happy blogs to come! :)

Over a month, under the microscope

Greetings!

It has been far to long.

So much to write about, so don't know where to start.

Well, since I am listening to their music why not start with Wolfmother. They broke up yesterday. I saw them at Pemberton Music Festival, which will be a topic all on its own. Wolfmother was amazing. Great energy, amazing sound, and they played pretty much note for note which I love about a bad live. The solos were epic, the hair was fro-ish, the pot was smokin'. Just a great show.

Now why on earth would a band, whose first album sold over 1.5 million copies world wide, who toured none stop for nearly two years building an already popular fan base, break up? They were on the verge of stardom, and could have released a second album that had 11 spoken word songs featuring Fran Dresser and it would have sold a million copies! As per wolfmother.com, the band broke up due to irreconcilable personal and musical differences. You will be missed my friends, you will be missed.


As mentioned before, pemberton was amazing. I could write a book of all amazing bands, crazy stories and the mass amounts of drinking from everyone through out the whole festival. It was a gong show and it was amazing. If it does go on next year, you MUST go. Enough said.


Life has been a little weird of late. So many directions that I could take, and I don't know exactly what path to follow. Although the long term goal of Toronto is forever in place, the next step is somewhat of a tricky one. Here, there, anywhere. I could move and do whatever I want.

I must get back to my decision making. I will update more often I promise.

Love.