Cant sleep

So I'll write a little.

One of the reasons I think I started writing again is because I received an interesting email two weeks ago. I guess it is fairly self explanatory.


Subject: Pending Thanks
Hey man,

I knew Gavin for a little bit and upon applying to work at Second City, he mentioned your name and referred me your blog in passing. I checked it out, and it ended up making a really big impression on me before starting there.

While it's just a minimum wage kind of gig and I doubt I could ever get up the nerve to perform, it is a huge deal to be a part of the community, and I felt like I had to thank you for your role in my being a part of that.

So for as weird as it may be to do so (it's weird, there's no 'maybe' about it), I just wanted to say thanks for making that impression.

Sarah

****

I really didn't know how to respond to that. Probably why I haven't replied yet. Maybe she'll read that here. Oh boy.

I find it hard to believe that my blog can help people and make 'a really big impression' on anyone. That's a huge compliment obviously. It was inspiring to read. It reminded me of something special I told myself back in grade 12. Something that was maybe lost along away over the last 8 years.

Back in 1998-1999 I was a young teenager. I was shy, I did not have many friends, I was not cool, I was over weight, and I had long hair (more not cool). I remember one day, some kid threw a mandarin orange at me as hard as he could. He hit me right in the square of the back. I thought my life was over.

I remember walking home that day, trying not to let the other kids see that I was crying.

I also remember something else that day.

I downloaded a 4 minute clip off of the 'internet', called 'Matt Foley, the Motivational Speaker.' This was of course the famous scene starring Chris Farley on Saturday Night Live. I remember watching that clip and laughing so hard, that I had to pause so I wouldn't miss anything. I watched that clip for a god damn hour. Over and over. It made me forget about that loser who threw shit at me. It made me smile. It made me happy.

I will never forget what Chris Farley did for me. Not only on that day, but everyday after that as well. Without knowing, Chris played a major role in my life. I slowly gained confidence and friends. I decided I wanted to be an comedic actor.

Most of all, Chris Farley put a smile on my face when I needed it the most. And for that, I will always be thankful.

In grade 12 I remember telling myself the following.

If I can help someone in this life, as much as Farley helped me, than I can die a happy man. I have to spread this great gift of love and laughter to anyone that will hear it. Not everyone is as lucky as I am. If I can help bring joy to just one person, and make them forget about their problems, worries and concerns, even just for a while, than that will be my gift to the world.

I hope that Sarah was not the first person I helped, I know she will not be last.

I cannot forget where I came from.

I cannot forget why I am here.

I cannot forget Farley, and his beautiful gift that he gave to me.